in my life
by a heart full of love
Summary: Enjolras has one love and one love only.France. he is willing to die for France. when alaina entered his life he cannot help but to fall for her in ways he did not know he could feel.
1. Chapter 1

In my life

Chapter one-

The days of planning the barricade grew urgent. The need to become free grew more desperate. All the students gathered at the ABC café. Grantaire has always had a bottle in his hand since he can remember. Everyone was used to his drunken acts all the time. Enjolras, the leader of the rebellion was reading a book on how to be a great successful leader for others. All were democrats fighting for freedom in which the government didn't grant its people of France. Eponine as usual was a waitress at the café among all these men including the love of her life Marius. She was the only woman who actually sat around to listen to their thoughts and political discussions. Suddenly, the front door flew open unexpected. Someone in a black large robe with the hood covering their face entered. Heads turned towards the door. Enjolras placed his hand on his sword waiting to attack at any given moment. All of a sudden the mysterious person took the hood off revealing beautiful brown waves of hair falling down her back. She had a round tan face with huge chocolate catlike eyes. Enjolras let go of the sword with his mouth parted. She was graceful as the robe was taken off her body by Joly. Grantaire dropped his bottle once he gasped. Multi-tasking was not within his greatest achievements. "it's an angel…" he exclaimed then motion to drink and realized there was no bottle in his hand, " Damn my bottle!"

Eponine gasped and jumped in the girls arms. "Alaina! This cannot be! It's been years! Why are you here?"

Alaina looked to the floor, "Momma is ill therefore father sent me here."

She seemed sad and uneasy. She saw a man with light brown ear length hair and green eyes. He was handsome. Grantaire stood up trying to keep his balance, "Eponine introduce me to this vixen." Eponine rolled her eyes at his question the said, "Alaina, this is Grantaire, the town drunk."

"Pleasure to meet you monsieur Grantaire"

"Now pleasure is what I will give you-"

Another man came; he had black hair and huge round brown eyes. His face was light tan and had high cheek bones. Her lips parted. Enjolras stepped in between them, "hello Alaina. Forgive my friend, he has drank a little too much"

"I believe that's an understatement" she smiled at him

Enjolras smiled in favor, "I am Enjolras by the way."

"Nice to meet you, monsieur."

Eponine stepped in, "he is the leader of the rebellion."

Shocked she just nodded than excused herself to sit with childhood friend Joly. It was weird how she felt. Staring into space she sang: "How strange, this feeling that my life's begun at last this change, can people really fall in love so fast? What's the matter with you, Alaina? Have you been too much on your own? So many things unclear So many things unknown.  
>In my life There are so many questions and answers That somehow seem wrong In my life There are times when I catch in the silence The sigh of a faraway song And it sings Of a world that I long to see Out of reach Just a whisper away Waiting for me!<br>Does he know I'm alive? Do I know if he's real? Does he see what I saw? Does he feel what I feel?  
>In my life I'm no longer alone now the love in my life Is so near Find me now, find me here!"<p>

Joly watched her closely then sang, "What's wrong today you look as if you seen a ghost?"

She snapped out of her Trans then said, "Nothing's wrong, I am just tired from the ride here."

"I missed you my friend." He held his head up. "Tell me have I gotten handsome."

She giggled, "You have not changed one bit"

From afar Enjolras stared at her. Grantaire tripped over a chair, "tell me how gorgeous she is"

"Go get another beer Grantaire."

"Don't mind if I do."

He met eyes with hers. She looked away, "Joly how is my mother?"

Joly became tense then looked to his hands "she is not doing well 'laina."

"I am scared to see her. I assume I shall leave. Have a good night."

She kissed his cheek. Her mother's name was Anna. The only reason Alaina didn't live with her was because her mother sold herself to men behind her father's back. Therefore her father, Dorian took her to England for 10 years. Now she was 17. It's been exactly 10 years since she last saw Anna and now she was dying. Even Alaina still has not forgiven her momma; she knew taking care of her will give her some comfort. Enjolras sipped his beer as he saw her put her robe on and exit the café into the snowy night. She was making him feel a way that France only made him feel. Why was this girl that he just met making him feel all dizzy in a way he cannot describe?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Alaina walked in the cold snow night, France has changed since she has been here. Now you can see vile crimes being committed, the law not doing anything about any crime. As she walked she began to think of that boy in the café and how his look was so intoxicating. He was leading the rebellion so many young men are a part of this including Joly. Was what they were fighting for worth their very lives? An odd feeling overwhelmed her soul as if someone was watching her. She stopped turning back to see no one there. Alaina continued walking pacing her steps until a man grabbed her pushing her in this dark alley a few doors away from the café. His body weight hovered over her. Once she saw his face she let out a scream. He was a homeless that was drunk and dirty. A beard wrapped around his chin. He let out a satanic laugh as his hands explored her body. "Please! Get off me!" she cried loudly. His hand covered her mouth and to take advantage of the moment she bit his hand. The strange scary man let out a yelp and let go. She stood trying to get away but he grabbed her and hit her head against the wall. All of a sudden, someone dressed in a white shirt with black vest and pants pushed the man off her and began hitting him full of rage. She fell to the floor crying because of the pain that overwhelmed her head. That sick man ran away covering his eye. When her savior turned towards her, she sighed: "Enjolras?"

He knelt by her examining her, "are you hurt?"

Enjolras never felt so furious in his life. There were sick men in France wanting to take advantage of girls like Alaina. He swore he would have killed that man if she wasn't there. She was relieved he had come and found her, "My head… I hit my head?"

He touched her head and saw blood flowing on his hand, "we should take you to Joly."

"No please, I must get to my momma."

"Can you stand?"

She began to rise then felt lightheaded. He grabbed before she fell back. They stared at each other's eyes when they met. Alaina felt week at the knees then fell in his arms. She was unconscious. "Alaina?"

Where was he going to take her? She did not want Joly to know of her injuries nor did he know where she lived. Enjolras picked her up and began to walk slowly staring at her. She looked so innocent and pure. Something that is very odd in a girl these days. _No_; he thought, _I cannot be feeling this way. Look at me I'm a rebel not worthy of the honor to have a woman such as this._

The burning sun bled through her eyelids making her awaken from her deep sleep. She lifted her head examining the room where she slept in. it was elegant with its long sofas and tables. With beautiful painting hung on the walls. It reminded her of her home in England. She sat up then noticed her head was bandaged up. On the couch laid Enjolras reading a book. He looked up and sat up nervously, "hello- good morning… how are you feeling?"

"Well thank you. Umm may I ask where I am?"

"You are at my home. I did not know where you lived. So I brought you here."

"Thank you for your heroic actions last night. I thought that I would not have been found." She lifted her eyebrow, "how did you find me? Was it just coincidence?"

He sat on the edge of the bed nervously. "I- I followed you"

"Why did you follow me?" she asked full of confusion.

"France is too dangerous for a woman to be unescorted. I saw you leave alone and I said to myself I should just follow you to see If you arrived safely to your home, then I saw that disgusting bastard with you. I do not know what came over me. Forgive me for your invasion of privacy."

Alaina shook her head, "no don't be. If I were not for you, god only knows what could have happened."

She could not explain why she did not care about him succeeding her. Even If he hadn't saved her she still felt a comfort and care within his action. It was warm and unexplainable. This feeling was foreign to her. For was as innocent as a child and the only man she really knew was her own father. God help me discover this odd new feeling; she thought smiling at him.

A/n: I really tried to be detailed. When I have time I will update it. It's a school night, bare with me. Please review. This is a dream of mine to make my love for writing reveal!


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: hey guys sorry I haven't been posting. I've been sick with the cold. Just wanted to say that Alaina is my character I made her up. When I saw Les Miserables I loved Enjolras even more when Ramin Karimloo played him. I wondered how different it would have been if Enjolras would have fallen in love a few weeks before the barricade. That is when Alaina was born. I'm trying to keep many old characters and conflicts. Please comment or review .

Chapter three

Enjolras stared at her as the doctor examined her wound at the back of her head. "Is she alright doctor?"

"Yes, she is. She did bleed excessively. Other than that, she is healthy."

Alaina smiled, "thank you doctor very much."

"You are welcome. Tell your mother I hope she feels better."

She nodded. Enjolras walked the doctor outside, "thank you, send me the bill. I will worry about it"

"You are a good man monsieur."

When Enjolras entered the room, she had her robe on and was standing. "Where are you going?"

"I must leave. My mother needs me monsieur. I cannot be more grateful for what you have done for me but I cannot waste time."

"I will walk you."

She smiled the followed him outside. They walked slowly on the streets of France. It was cold yet a beautiful sunny day. All of a sudden, she stopped touching her head. Worriedly he stopped in front of her. "Do you not feel well? Would you like to sit down?"

"I'm well. It is my head, I feel a little dizzy that all"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes monsieur."

Enjolras began to walk again. He was worried about her. If she will ever forget those images of that man, it was unnatural that he felt this for any woman. He was a leader and strived towards a larger goal such as giving the people of France freedom not a romance. This attraction toward Alaina could not get a hold of him. It did not matter how strong they were. She cleared her throat, "What leads you to your rebellion?"

"I loathe seeing innocent people being charged for something that wasn't so. Many people steal to keep their children dressed and fed. They should not be stealing to get that; the government should provide that for them. I want to see them free even if that means death."

Alaina frowned looking down, "death? You are willing to leave family behind. And your friends-"

"I do not have anyone to weep over my death."

"The students at the café honor you, Enjolras. Joly told me what a leader you are."

Enjolras looked away, "that is why they agree to join me if I fall."

Her heart fell. Joly was going to die in this barricade. Her most trusted friend ever.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: hey guys. Sorry I haven't posted been in school busy. I am hoping to post more during break. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I always imagined Alaina to Be Sierra Bogges. And Anna is lea salonga.

Chapter 4

Alaina frowned of the thought of Joly to be in such a depth to want to die for Enjolras. She shook the thought from her mind, "when is the barricade?"

"We are not quite sure yet. But we are thinking that maybe the sign would be Lamarque's death."

She looked up at him, "Why after monsieur?"

Enjolras smiled happy that he was going to do what he does best. Talk about his plans and preach about freedom. "Lamarque's the voice of the people. Actually, the only man in politics which cares for the people. People will be furious with his death they will have no chose but to rebel alongside us."

She chucked, "you are the master behind this wonderful plan. You are very clever. I can why these men look to you as there leader."

A smile escaped from his beautiful natural pink lips, "I never expected someone such as yourself to enjoy politics.

" I do not keep up but In fighting for what is right"

"And what is considered right to you?"

"well I loathe seeing people suffer or starve because no one wants to give them a job for they are peasants. If I had a voice and say in all of this I would help them. Innocent and good peasants should not have to suffer for those of snobby rich men. Maybe I do not even know what I speak of." She said shaking her head. Enjolras admired her opinion. She knew well what was wrong and right, which was a quality that many people lack in. most women cared about dresses and men. They do not care what is occurring to the poor people around then as long as they have their rights. He looked at her, "so you do support the rebellion?"

"yes I honor you. Actually, I envy you. You have a dream that it worth fighting for and people want to listen to what you have to say. I wished I had a passion to do something and die for something because I cannot live without it."

"One day you will meet a man worthy for you and worth dying for. He will be you passion and will to live on." He said looking down at her sadly. She led him up the stairs of the beautiful wooden home that sat on small field of grass and flowers. She opened the door slowly. Nerves ran up and down her body like an electric current. "Would you like to enter?"

" I don't want to intrigue.

She smiled, "No I insist please do come in."

He entered and saw beautiful simple furniture. It was clean and smelled like flowers. They both heard coughing from a room. "Excuse me monsieur. Please make yourself comfortable."

She disappeared In the dark hall and entered a room. This was the first time in years since she saw her mother. Alaina saw a woman lying weakly on a bed with dark brown hair and brown eyes. She wore a white night gown and her skin matched the pale color. Her mother's name was Anna. She turned to the door and gasped seeing her daughter for the first time since those sad times. Tears overwhelmed her eyes. Alaina stood looking at her mother weak and dying, she wiped her tears and ran to her mother's side, embracing her tightly. "Oh momma"

"alaina" she started singing. "_ I am so proud to have seen you one last time_."

" _But you will live momma, you're going to live it's too soon to soon to say goodbye." _Alaina sang.

"_Yes my love. Forbid me now to die, I'll obey I will try."_

Her mother looked to the door. When alaina turned, she saw Enjolras standing handsomely and the doorway. He looked down, " forgive me."

"Enjolras, this is my mother Anna, momma this is Enjolras"

Anna smiled, " oh he must be your husband. I always dreamed I would see you happily married. Has god answered my prayer?"

Nervously alaina looked to the floor ashamed about the question. Enjolras stared at alaina then stepped forward, "yes I am her husband. She has told me so much of you."

Alaina gasped lowly smiling. Her mother said "darling he is handsome and a gentleman."

They smiled then Enjolras put his arm around alaina shoulders showing a little affection. Alaina had so much beautiful qualities. It was difficult for Enjolras not to look at her differently. Anna smiled, " Alaina may you get me water?"

"yes momma."

Enjolras looked at Alaina, " are you sure you do not want me to get it my love?"

" do not worry I will get it darling. " she blushed hearing and saying the words. When she exited the room Enjolras sat by anna as she spoke, "you two seem very happy together. Please keep her happy monsieur; I have made her suffer so much as a child. I cannot go unless I know she is alright and taken care of." She began coughing loudly. He frowned with one hand on her head and the other on her hand. " I promise I will not let no harm nor suffering come near Alaina."

She smiled nodding. Enjolras felt tears in his eyes, though he just met this woman he was the mother he never had. 


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: sorry no recent post, been busy praticing for auditions for les miserables this week. auditioning for eponine. this chapter is a little too fluff and almost cheezy. i actually hand writing all my stories then type it. so i am on my 3 notebook of this story... anyways enjoy!

chapter 5:

A week has past in paris, Enjolras had not seen or heard of _her_ in three days. It was personally difficult to not know what was wrong with _her_. she has not shown her face around there, it could only mean the worse. Alaina sat on the bed side of Anna's bed. she was in the last moments of her life. A pain so big entered Alaina seeing her mother like this. she regretted ever leaving and wasting every moment she could of had with her mother. now it was too late. joly, being a medical student, was in the living room awaiting for Alaina to say goodbye. Anna closed her eyes and alaina squeezed her hand. " please momma, do not leave me."

" shh, my dear" she eased. _" i dreamed a dream in time gone by. when hope was high amd life worth living. i dreamed that love will never die, i dreamed that god would be forgiving."_

Alaina smiled with tears rolling down her cheeks, _" then i was young and unafraid that dreams were then used and wasted, there was ransom to be paid. no song unsong no wine untasted." _

_" but the tigers come at night with their voices soft as thunder."_

" as they tear your hope apart as they turn your dream to shame"

her mother closed her eyes forcing the words out, " And still i dreamed she'll come to me. that we will live the years together."

Alaina shook her head, " but there are dreams that cannot be and there are storms we cannot weather!"

both sang together for the first time as daughter and mother, " i had a dream my life would be. so different from this hell i'm living so different now from what it seemed! now life has killed the dream i dreamed."

anna coughed, " my dream came true. i am sorry for- for."

suddenly the grip from anna's hand released. alaina stood crying. " momma! momma? no! no! momma!"

joly rushed to the room grabbing alaina into his buried her face in his chest. alaina began breathing heavily. "oh joly. why? WHY?"

With sadness, Alaina managed to walk to the cafe and tell Enjolras to news about her mother. He would be heart broken also. though her mother ruined her childhood, the hole of growing without a mother there destroyed her. she never had a woman in her life to explain certain things about becoming a woman. that was why the feeling she had for Enjolras was so foreign. when she entered the cafe, enjolras was seated at a table writing some barricade layouts. she stood at the door crying lowly. he turned towards the door and saw her with sore eyes and tears overwhelming her face. enjolras stood shaking his head, " no. oh no"

she trembled trying not to sob infront of him. Enjolras embraced her sadly, " come with me. "

they walked outside together and he touched her arms, " i am so sorry."

" She loved you like a son, what did she ever tell you?"

He shook his head, " i cannot say. i promised anna i would not say."

" why arent you saying? is it something horrible about me? did she tell you i left with my father and left her on the streets weak and sick? that i never forgave her for all the goddamn pain she put me thought. the hate that grew in me for my own mother killed her Enjolras!" she yelled falling into his arms. he held her closely allowing her to bring out her suffering and pain out on him. " why did she leave right when i forgave her?"

" God has forgiven her. he took the pain away." his hand rubbed her head realizing how much of a hold this girl had on him. alaina knew that her mother left happy to be with her and she also knew that her death made made alaina see that this feelling for enjolras was not just attraction but that she was in love with this man. she looked up at him, _" if only you could know the things i long to say. if only i could tell you what i wish i could convey. __It's in my every glance My heart's an open book You'd see it all at once If only you would look If only you could glimpse The feeling that I feel If only you would notice What I'm dying to revea.l The dreams I can't declare The needs I can't deny. You'd understand them all. If only you would try_" she sang.

he turned around looking away from her_,"What is it about her that's. So wonderfully and possibly familiar. Why do I feel dizzy in a way. I've only felt but once before How come when she looks at seems like time stops moving"_

when he looked at her, she looked down sadly. why wasnt he declaring his love for her? at least that is what she read in book. if the man loves you, he would declare a vow of everlasting love. Enjolras will never love her like he love paris, embarressed she whispered, " i must go."

enjolras stepped toward her, " did i say something wrong?"

" no it is what you didnt say that was wrong."

she ran off away from the feeling of rejection and torment. he frowned, " alaina?"

enjolras was confused of what just occured, maybe this stress of her mother was becoming the best of her. he ran his fingers through his hair not knowing what to do. the need to confess every thought in his mind to her, to hold her in his arms the way he did with women who he never cared for overwhelmed him. just a few days of knowing this woman, it was as if his world and life had meaning and reason. he was frustrated, the last thing he wanted was to harm alaina. joly walked to enjolras, " are you well my friend?"

"no, not at all." he frowned.

" what is wrong?"

_"Why God, why today_

_I'm all through here on my way_

_There's nothing left here that I'll miss_

_Why send me now a night like this why god show your hand_

_Why can't one guy understand_

_I've been with girls who knew much more_

_I never felt confused before_

_Why me, what's your plan_

_I can't help her, no one can_

_I like my memories as they were_

_But now I'll leave remembering her"_

joly touched his back, " you are in love. the girl you seek is going to her harm weeping over her mothers death."

alaina cried walking to her home. with no one to go home to or speak to, she felt alone and unwanted. " _And I know it's only in my mind  
>That I'm talking to myself and not to him<br>And although I know that he is blind  
>Still I say, there's a way for us<em>

_I love him  
>But when the night is over<br>He is gone  
>The river's just a river<br>Without him  
>The world around me changes<br>The trees are bare and everywhere  
>The streets are full of strangers<em>

_I love him  
>But every day I'm learning<br>All my life  
>I've only been pretending<br>Without me  
>His world would go on turning<br>A world that's full of happiness  
>That I have never known"<em>

she fell to the floor on the meadow infront of her house. why does love come along with pain? if there were feeling in enjolras's soul, why can't he admit it? her father dorian would come as soon as possible to take her home to london. joly sent a letter to him so he can arrive to comfort alaina. she would be taken from joly, eponine, grantaire and most importantly enjolras. this unrespondant love was not reason to stay behind. her emotions were to hard to hide. right this moment she was vulnerable. she wiped her tears standing up from her depression. she picked up her pink morning dress from dragging.

" Alaina!" a faint voice called. when she turned on the top step, she saw a man dresses in black pants, white long sleeve and black vest. " Enjolras?"

he stood a few steps away from her breathing heavily. she held tears back for he wouldnt know she was crying, " what are you doing here?"

" i-i" he breathed, " i came to speak with you."

" Why? All you are doing is wasting breathe and time." she said firmly.

" but alaina-"

" go plan your barricade monsieur enjolras."

she began to walk to the door. enjolras had to think fast. he touched his head the sang, _" a heart full of love. a heart full of song. i'm doing everything all wrong oh god for shame. i don't know wheather you should stay. dear mademoiselle, will you stay will you say. "_

her heart fell and she let out a gasp. he felt the same way for her. he did. she turned around, _" a heart full of love. no fear no regret."_

they smiled then he said walking to her " forgive my timing"

" i understand."

" alaina i dont know what to say."

" then make no sound"

he took her hand in his. " i am lost."

" i am found."

" a heart full of light. "

" and night bright as day."

" this is a chain, we'll never break."

" do i dream?"

" i'm awake."

she chuckled lowly as he carressed her face, "i am sorry i made you wait."

" i forgive you." she smiled.

enjolras slowly descended to her beautiful full rosey lips. her body froze not knowing what to do. she has never been this close to a man . but she knew, enjolras would teach her all she needed to know. joy entered her soul, that she was not alone in this world. she know had the best thing in her life.. his lips pressed softly against hers. they parted with their forehead pressed together, they took in eachothers breathe. alaina smiled pulling herself back to his lips lossing herself in thier world. his hands gripped the back of dress feeling light headed and breathless. her fingers tangled in his straight hair. enjolras felt so so full and comforted because of the love and song they shared. he brushed her face softly staring at her. she whispered, " i thought you did not feel this way for me,"

" i always felt drawn to you. i was just in denial with the barricade on its way."

her dream of falling in love came to exsist. never has she had a relationship with a man. enjolras smiled down at her. the feeling unknown now felt so natural and known. he was posistive he was in love with her and more than paris and freedom. 


End file.
